My clouser

 

Mom june first i was dieing for closure. my therapyist

Says exposure is the last step for forgetting load you hold.

so i dont always feel like im disposed of you those words were cold it broke me, them words

were the words many had spoke down to me. they have spreading

Thoughts ive had to dread on about you mom, you are not dead in me i can see me

Forgiving the time Wasted i was segergated from the world isolated from gods word any one who tryed to

help me was given the bird sick of my own illiminating mind set i let myself down i looked like a clown. People

sat down with me shaking ther head with a disapointed frown

I was in a six foot ditch working on the last one to make seven but since age ten almost eleven

I was suicidal, liable to go off i was a missile,a Ticking time bomb. I know i will get was coming to me

God got alot to charge me with and theres no running gonna answer his qestions and theres no

mother fucking beggening i can think of i just hope he takes it easy and sees what im becomeing. my cps files

Piss me off there so confuseing like Sun Dials Ive Lived four very diffrent life styles

Piles and piles of regrets it even worth my time cuse its set on a date see i came along way and Im willing to

bet if i stayed at HoH i would have to bang a set the internet is making violence look good and keeping the bad sides of it silent

This closure isgood and you should read this with memory's.

Enemies are still family and certainly don't always get along and thats just Reality and sadly

im missing lollie and my dady

And you its crappy becuse of me and the sun is comeing out suddenly fast but from revilation from my past

It can go away just as fast. I learned that last night you and i were talking i

Thought on what you said as i laid in bed. All of the past lead to a sussceful

Me and im not so negative becuse i learned from these lessons with a level head and now it makes since

and im literally shinning so im tieing bits and pieces together i no longer feel like dieing and

each day you can tell on my post on the book i wrote it on the header. I have not forgot my part of what i did. it is in the

light its no longer in a Secret place to hide i did not not care truthfuly i played blind but im gonna put that behind us so it

dose not pop up down the road like some put a landmine of some kind.

I hold my self accountable and now i feel

increadable. because you knew me back then i acted a fool know im super smart

passing grades in school. i was sick of reportedly braking my promises and hopitals with all them papers i had to sign

My brain is a tool im helping others so i can be a helpful frind Instead of constinly creating sins i had resine and thats how Clouser helped with in.

Thank you mom, I can be gone now just know im safe and sound and i hope all is well if there is a word i can

spell to tell you i got up sice the last Time i fell is accountabilty thats that word i can be definded as in a streangth ive worked hard on and busted my ass

so thanks for the closure since we've talked i feel like we're closer

And thats aot since last time i talked to you a few years back i wanted nothing to do with you

I know you love me and im here to say i love you so i wrote to you it in a rap, well thats the last thing i would want you to hear from me life is confuseing i could die

tomorrow but aleast i'd get to leave with knowing i told you i love you so it makes me feel better that I have told you that.