DnD Rap Review Chapters 1-5

Story starts off, all a’ us in a bar

Blanca's playin' bartender, Armina ain't far

When along comes Gurt, hot stud of the hour

Trotting in on his horse, and Miss Kenzie gets sour

So Gurt the horse lover gets off his noble beast

And shoves it into her, but his bad luck increased

As Beatrice the Third falls over on top

And starts going wild, kicking all about

Kenzie throws an axe, Gurt's kicked in the face

Random cat get sat in the middle of trouble

As people flee the bar and run outside,

In enters a man and his posse of followers.

The main man Frederick, dual rapiers at his side

And Jennifer, and Kat, a pair of ruthless homicides

And Ren, a hot woman...Wait, No, he's a man....Right?

Freddy does a backflip and smashes the window

As his gang of misfits go in th' door like normal

"Dead guy! Dead guy!" yells the random crew

So everyone runs out to see what's new.

Creature in the window, just up the stairs

Poor guy was thrown out, but nobody cares

Everyone charges up to fight the intruder

As Gurt loots the body, and calls his horse closer.

Arrows start flying, when the baddie's revealed

Covered in feathers, two men at his heels.

Kenzie go hard, not an arrow gets past her

Meanwhile Armina climbs to th' upper window.

Gurt tries to mount his horse, but falls right over

As one of Blanca's arrows enters Gurt's shoulder

Kenzie charge in with a bloodcurdling cry

And cuts a guy in half, tossing him to th' side

Armina sneaks in, stabs a guy in the back

And poor dude stumbles backwards, falls like a sack

Straight out the window, flailing his body

And falls right on Gurt, who crying for somebody

The battle continues, till the Harpie is wounded

And vows to come back, in the name of Vojin.

Vojin, some group that wants to start some terror

Or something, keep in mind, we don't really know either!

Everyone packs up and gets ready to go

To speak with the king back at ( PLACE )

Gurt picks a fight with main man Freddy

Who uses his god powers to make Gurt unsteady

Blanca plays the Jew and asks for more money

While Armina looks around for arrows and berries

Kenzie takes the cat and ties it to her body

And all set out to travel the forest in a hurry

After a few hours, all decide to take a rest

Sit down near a fire, sacks pulled up to th' chest

Frederick tells a very said backstory

About how his sister got killed, or something

Gurt steals some wine from Blanca, gets wasted

Right as a band of baddies us chases

Armina shoots some arrows, true to their mark

As Blanca and the crew get to doing their part

Gurt passes out from intoxication

And Kenzie won't wake up, sleep her fixation.

Bad Lady know's Freddy, she stabs him and flees

And Fred goes existential, drops to his knees, says

"Blanca, you's from the future, I see it in this rock"

And that's about it for the night full of shock.

Now the Muse don't know what happens next,

Since by the time he awakes, everyone already left

But more battles and chaos, explosions galore

As Gurt fends for his life, from one, two wolves more

Eventually comes the time when all the baddies are dead

And it takes the group an hour to loot the bodies, toe to head

Gurt prays for his horse, gets told off by heaven

And randomly finds a carriage that takes him right past them

Kenzie jumps in too, and ride for a while

Until Blanca Hexblasts them and starts a small fire

Kenzie kills the cab driver, Armina keeps distance

As the group makes their way to the walled city of (PLACE)

They explore for a while, before heading to th' castle

To talk to the king, about something or other

This being Gurt's hometown, he asks about th' princess

Who actually be a dude, he just like to wear a dress

Everyone goes in, but before they can enter

They have to fight to the death, to enter the king's chamber!

So in enters some knights, and a duel ensues

They begin by throwing taunts at Gurt, who they knew

Failed the last time with the king he tried for audience

But little did they know how much stronger he'd gotten.

A very long battle, but the last knight is slayed

With a couple of arrows, and slaps to the face.

The party approaches the door to the king

But find themselves in the midst of a kidnapping!

Some dragon dude is smacking the king silly

As this blind chick walks in to beat some willies

>That's you, Nate. You the blind lady, monk person.

>Not sure if you hot tho. Can be if you want.

>Gurt is, for sure. Cause I'm a midget

A big battle ensues, dragon boi spits fire

And Gurt gets feet-scalped, and cries in terror.

Eventually both baddies are thrown out a window,

And the king is saved, by the blind monk and crew.

What will come next in this adventurous tale?

Fo shizzle, we know not, but it finna be lit, dawg.

Dig it. Fo shizzle!