I Can Teach You How to Dougie

Verse: I keep a couple Xanies tucked in the band of my panties

And if anybody needs me I’ll be on the bathroom floor.

There’s something about parties and the sweet smell of bacardi

That just makes me wanna throw up as soon as I’m in the door.

Some dude is talking shit to me; he’s about to be hitting me

Cause he can’t take a joke and now I’ve gone too far to stop.

All I did was tell him that I was a little jealous cause his girlfriend’s ass

Looks like two tennis balls inside a sock.

Now I'm staring at his fist and I'm feeling inadequate cause I know that

He's probably about to knock me out.

It's not like I can stop him cause all the drugs that I'm popping

Are kicking in and I'm about to be tripping anyhow.

So I let him take his aggression out on my face cause it's the

Lesson that I guess I deserve, then I walked away.

I spit a couple loogies in the cup that’s closest to me and I

Slipped some cunt a roofie I was saving just in case.

 

I can teach you how to Dougie, this white boy from the country

Has a way with words that guarantees the public loves me.

You gone remember me, I can turn beef into lunch meat,

I’ll have you fucking junkies giving me all of your money.

 

I drink until the room starts spinning and every sink in the

House has my barf in it.

A cup of Jack mixed with dark guinness, I need that shit that’s

Hard hitting so I have an excuse to be swinging when these women

Start bitching.

If I'm being honest, I showed up to this party already ready to vomit,

Mixing chronic with my vodka tonic, swallow a pill,

Don’t know where I got it, don’t know what it was, but I’m better on it.

I probably won’t apologize for my behavior.

Even though you’ll probably find me bout an hour later.

Eyes dilated, pissing down a flight of stairs, quit your bitching bitch,

Don’t you understand that I don’t care?

My drinking’s so excessive I get the respect of anorexics,

What were you expecting? I drink to teach my liver a lesson.

Popping percocets and chasing em with syrup, testing the limits

Before this Henny and Guinness gets spit up all over your family pictures.